Yesteryear

To the boys of summer:

Congratulations to those of us who have graduated the perpetual childhood stage. I'm still rooting for those of you who haven't made it.

Summer....

Some of my best conversations have occurred while breezing through the canyon atop a longboard or strung from a bolt against the canyon wall.

But then life calls you in for dinner, and the pickup game you had going on in the front yard breaks apart. Matt grows a family, Brent finally commits, Jordan and Blake decide they don't like girls anymore and marry the rock. And the sloth passes into oblivion.

I still have my climbing shoes in the back of my car. Waiting for a text to meet up at the Quarry or Rock Canyon. Waiting for Jordan and Blake to show me their new bouldering projects.

I still have my guitar leaned against my bookcase. Waiting for someone to light a candle. Waiting for Trev and his entourage to crowd into the front room. Waiting for Matt to bend over his guitar and flex his chops.

I still have my longboard in the garage. Waiting for a canyon, a good back-wind, and a full moon.

Summer graduation...

Matt's in the bay with a one-year old son, Brent's in hurricane country making enough money to eat Texas BBQ every night, Jordan and Blake carry on the legacy at T-Mobile, and I've chained myself to the books waiting to exhale... Life is upon us.

Nobody on the road, nobody on the beach, I feel it in the air, the summer's out of reach.

Netflix

On a whim I signed up for Netflix. I haven't received a movie yet but I'm already extremely satisfied. Five bucks a month and we get two movies in the mail. No late fees, no driving to Blockbuster (I'm extremely lazy), and a crazy selection of movies that I haven't seen in a rental store ever. Here's a list of the movies we've picked so far... Hamlet (with Kenneth Branagh), An Ideal Husband, The Importance of Being Earnest, The Burbs, Joe Versus the Volcano, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, The Man Who Knew Too Little, Clue. We're bringing the 90's back.

Speaking of Hamlet... Here's a clarification. The line, "To thine own self be true," is spoken by Polonius, not Hamlet. And if you recall, Polonius is a hypocrite. I just feel it's my duty to publish that point.

Earth-love

This weather makes me want to sleep outside.



Been thinking lately about the earth....
And I wish we treated her better.


When the last living thing
Has died on account of us,
How poetical it would be
If Earth could say,
In a voice floating up
Perhaps
From the floor
Of the Grand Canyon,
"It is done.
People did not like it here.''

These were the last lines of the last book Vonnegut ever wrote.
Thanks Kurt. Nailed it again. You will be missed.
So it goes....



Timp. One thing about living in Provo that I'll miss. That gorgeous mountain.

Grand Canyon State. I've switched mountains for desert stone.... Can't say it's a bad environment change. The sunsets are spectacular.

I once thought about writing for Rolling Stone

I have had a resurrected interest in Guster's music lately thanks to Jana, Kimball, and Ki-ki-ri. Since they attended the Guster concert in the SLC I rummaged through my iPod and noticed I only had one or two Guster songs. After my CDs got swiped a few years back, I had learned to live without that east coast, neo-hippie, subtle and swelling sound of the Guster trio. But no longer. Now I can write my legal memos to the thunder-beat of the djimbe, the cacophony of hand symbols, and the harmony of pop vocals. I'll be honest, I was in a real slump writing a paper for my legal method class, but after listening to "Barrel of a Gun," I was able to prepare some intelligent and persuasive analysis. Power of music.

On another subject... Try this experiment: pick a play list on your iPod, pick a rich and inspired piece of literature, sit down in a plush chair, and let both mediums take you on a transcendent trip. Don't worry if it's hard to concentrate on the reading. Just let the words pour over you. Let the music sink into your subconscious. It might take a few minutes to find a compromise between the rhythm of your reading and the rhythm of the music, but it will come. And when it does.... magic.

I can be a deep thinker too...

So after a long day at school, I realized that Ammon isn't the only one who can be a deep thinker. Although my thoughts aren't as eloquent, my words aren't spelled correctly, and my grammar is atrocious, here I go...

Teaching is a long-lost skill that is often taken for granted. I am taken for granted. I'm a good teacher with lots of things to say, but the whole class hour I am constantly disciplining students who are either too under the influence to know what I'm saying or too stupid to be allowed to reproduce so they like to act out in class so they don't have to face facts. :) Yes, I have turned into a cynical teacher. Not everyone should be forced to do math... it's wasting my good talents! If only we could tell students how we really feel without the fear of legal repercussions from crazy lawyers :) and nasty parents. I wish we were back in the good ole days of hitting children when they misbehave. Parents and administrators should be on the teacher's side on every issue because teachers are the only sane adults in the classroom, and most of the time they are the only adults whatsoever. I demand respect, dang it, and I will get it from everyone before I quit teaching in a public school and spend endless days at more fulfilling jobs... private tutoring and eventually parenting...

...here's to the future! Counting down the days until Ammon's done with law school! Who's with me?

Insomnia

Dear Void,

Today, in the middle of Billy Corgan's howling, I found myself in reverie.
Do you ever feel like two personalities are ripping your mind apart? It feels like I'm always in transition: I study the law but all I can think about is landscaping the backyard and reading novels, I bash on consumerism but I love the convenience, I crave my independence but I can't go a day without seeing Jes, I love the indie rock but there's so many good hooks in the mainstream, I love the mountains but I gotta have the urban lifestyle, I'm tired but I can't sleep (like right now), I hate routines but I expect everyone else to live by the clock.... I am Jack's complete lack of reconciliation. The progressive-traditionalist, the passive-activist, the concise-eclectic....

Sincerely cynical, Ammon

p.s.... do you know why law appeals to me? Because there's no right or wrong answers.

Ashes and Lace

"How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four or five times more. Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless." ~The Sheltering Sky

27 is a magical number. Ask me about it in two years.

I have a lot to say and everyone's asleep

Good literature has no substitute. I had a discussion today with a fellow law student about the importance of literature--I mean, serious lit: Shakespeare. Joyce. Marlowe. Chaucer. Woolf. Hemmingway. These people still impact our culture, pop culture, every other book or character is a rivulet off the main torrent.

I spent the next hour delving into the wikipedia web, following reference after reference, swimming in a sea of loosely knit information...until my mind exploded. Faulkner, Blood Meridian, Iago, Machiavellian, Fight Club, Lear, Marx, Rousseau, consumerism, nihilism, Pynchon, Stein, Paris, jazz, Casablanca, Lewis, The Godfather, existentialism.... Beautiful.

Yes...I am a literary nerd. But in my correct opinion, literary nerds were always cool anyways. They could get away with never shaving, wearing biodegradable clothes and sandals, worshipping the earth like Celtic pagans, and spend hours at urban bookstores. If you really want to know how deep my soul goes (deeper than bones), here's a peek: My dream house (and Jes's, of course) will contain a library:

This magnificent library in my dream house is furnished with large plush chairs, stacks of hardbound leather books, towering mahogany shelves, rolling ladders, bonsai trees, high circular windows, a dome skylight, hundreds of tiny lamps, more bonsai trees, large shag rugs, ancient wooden floors, giant french doors leading out into a lush garden with a fountain in the middle like on Much Ado About Nothing, then a great expanse of grass that suddenly ends at some high Dover-like cliffs being pummeled by the ocean waves. And on the grassy cliff will sit a hand carved wooden bench where I'll read poetry to Jes while the sun sinks into the darkening sea.

That's the rough idea, I'm still trying to flesh it out.

Here's to dreams.

Clubhouse in the house...

First time going to the clubhouse last week (who's got the time?). I felt like a high-roller, strolling into the posh facilities, nodding to people with sweaters around their shoulders, everyone carrying tennis rackets.... "This is my kingdom," I said a little too loudly.

P.S....everyone is invited over.... Who needs a beach anymore when there's imported sand at the edge of your pool? I think I saw Jay Z there.

Here's a couple pics. (Jes is tired of me putting words on our blog).

View from the pool towards the lake

Part of that sandy beach I was talking about

A boat with a canopy, the lake, some flowers and shubbery, a few houses in the background, some ripples and waves, and a small section of grass

The park behind our house

Completely random thought from Jes: thanks to Stomp the Yard, Am and I might have to start taking up krumping lessons. I wonder if they offer those at the clubhouse too??? That show is highly recommended!

The New iPizzle

For those interested. Apple did a revamp of their most popular item: the iPod now has touchscreen. Also, 160 GB on the classic iPod. Eventually you've got to ask yourself: Is that necessary? I'm still trying to fill my 30 GB....

On Music

Someone asked me if I'd written any songs lately. When I replied I hadn't, he asked me why, and in a sudden spark of realization I answered, "because I'm happy now." I didn't understand my response until just recently. A lifetime ago before I met Jes, my musical and lyrical expression was a combination of melancholy, dissonance, wanting, and release (to pick four completely abstract terms). For whatever reason, I was compelled to play guitar to sweep out the dark corners of my universe. Once I met Jes...it all disappeared. It's strange how loving someone so intensely can reverse those feelings that were seemingly so fundamental--feelings I wrote anthems about and weaved into my persona. Let's face it...real music, I mean the music that some of us (or maybe just a few of us) listened to while lying on the floor in the dark, or heard for the first time and cataloged in our mind forever.... (Ex: I can recall the exact place, time of day, day of the week, and people involved the first time I heard the live acoustic version of "Mr. Jones"). That living music is inspired by some seriously troubled souls: from Mozart to Morrison to My Chemical Romance. And I totally get that now.

To clarify, I haven't stopped playing guitar or writing. I now have balance. I do however have some great drive-time to and from campus to experience new and exciting music. Two anticipated albums: Jimmy Eat World "Chase This Light," and Foo Fighters "Echoes, Silence, Patience, & Grace."

For some reason I really like lists and rankings. (I once tried to download all of Rolling Stones Magazine's 500 greatest songs...long story, but I now have an external hard-drive). So, here's my iTunes top 25 most played the last couple weeks. It's a good mix of the old and the new--obviously subject to change (the new single "The Pretender" will most certainly be rising up this chart)....

1. "The First Single (Cause a Scene)" The Format
2. "PDA (We Just Don't Care)" John Legend
3. "Bad Dream" Keane
4. "Someday" The Strokes
5. "You Have My Attention" Copeland
6. "Another Lonely Day" Ben Harper
7. "Crooked Teeth" Death Cab for Cutie
8. "Kick Push" Lupe Fiasco
9. "Morning Yearning" Ben Harper
10. "Let Go" Frou Frou
11. "Dig" Incubus
12. "Strange Condition" Pete Yorn
13. "Broken" Secondhand Serenade
14. "Well Thought Out Twinkles" Silversun Pickups
15. "You're All I Have" Snow Patrol
16. "Brick" Ben Fold's Five
17. "Failure by Design" Brand New
18, "You're So Last Summer" Taking Back Sunday
19. "Cupid's Chokehold" Gym Class Heroes
20. "Love Song for No One (acoustic)" John Mayer
21. "The Dolphin's Cry" Live
22. "The Ocean Breathes Salty" Modest Mouse
23. "Gold in the Sunset" Bob Schneider
24. "The Pretender" Foo Fighters
25. "Summertime" Sublime

"Without music life would be a mistake." ~Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche