Remember when...

...13 months ago I went off birth control and got pregnant? My due date was May 31. Then I miscarried. Then I waited a cycle. Then I got pregnant again. My due date was September 2 (then it was moved back to September 10). Then I miscarried and waited a cycle. Then I got pregnant again. My due date was December 7. Then at 7 weeks, the ultrasound tech said it was looking small. Then my due date was December 22nd, and I was mad because I didn't want a Christmas baby.

Then remember from 7 to 16 weeks the doctor was worried that my rh antibodies were too high and all I was worried about was that my baby would be deformed.

Then remember at 16 weeks the antibody level suddenly dropped? Then at 20 weeks we saw that SHE was perfectly healthy, ginormous, and super active. Then remember how all I was worried about was repeating my last delivery (having a baby 9 pound baby, having the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times, and getting 36 stitches)?

Then at 25 weeks (on September 10) I went into labor and was worried about being life-flighted, having a 2 pound baby, and living apart from Ammon for 3 months while she was in the NICU. Then remember how I was put on temporary modified bedrest? Then I realized how I simply don't do bedrest.

Then remember at 26 weeks I had a few hours of contractions that were stronger and getting closer together, but not as painful as the week before?

Then remember at 27 weeks I had a doctor appointment, and because of the week before's incident, I had to remain on "temporary" modified bedrest. Then the next day I had a few hours of contractions that were stronger and getting closer together, but not as painful as 2 weeks before?

Then remember how I had a meltdown? What on earth happened to my plan?? Every time I tried to set up a new plan, it was thrown under the bus!

Then I went to the Relief Society broadcast and I realized that even though I've had this terrible trial for over a year now, at least I'm still pregnant. At least if she decided to come and they couldn't stop it, she would be alive with a 70% chance of complete recovery. At least my amazing ward would help out again in bringing meals and watching Emma every day. At least I already have a precious little girl who is perfect in every way. At least I have an amazing husband who loves me and supports all I do. At least I know that because I was sealed in the temple, I can live with my family (including all my children that my imperfect body is rejecting) for eternity!

Remember when--instead of having faith the first time--I have to learn everything the hard way? Ugh...I remember!

So here's my new plan: I'm going to be happy now...no matter how destroyed my plans A, B, C, D, and E are.